Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We were destined to go to rehab together
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
