apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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