Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
