so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
