I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
