I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize