Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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