you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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