So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
