Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
