The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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