If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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