no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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