dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
