He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
