i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
