those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
