Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
