literally had 100 drinks last night.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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