im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
