he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
