just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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