fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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