U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You can't motorboat a personality
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Congratulations! We have a period
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
