Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
