im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
