Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
