Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
