today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
