I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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