omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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