Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
