I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
