a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
