Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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