come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
