i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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