the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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