I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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