Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
