Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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