time to smoke my breakfast
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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