wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
