If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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