dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
