I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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