well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
