In the future we'll all be gay
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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