just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
