this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
