Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
