I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
